Today I went back to my ward. It feels weird to be back again and i felt pretty disorientated. But it was a good thing i was doing junior work today. It is a good thing there were some students around to help around... i dunno how long I wanna stay around le, maybe in a moneths time I shall request for transfer out but to where is still an issue. Right now, I am putting all my time and effort on my nursing management essay which i think i shall lose sleep over. i am feeling depressed cause i really dunno whether I can finish it by then. I requested for a time extension but it was not granted... I dun care if i only sleep a few hours every night but I must get it done. I am trying to detach myself from everything around me that is distracting. I really really dun have time to entertain any other thoughts. I just want to get this over and done this. i just hope others will understand I am in a very difficult situation. Haiz. dunno why everytime it reaches this sort of assignment period there seem to be more distractions than normal. My friend asked me to go gym, another asked me to watch movie, another asked me to go out at night. Then my sister is coming back soon. i really wish could go out with her but will be busy, but at least have to give her some priority...

Ok, i better get back to doing my assignment!!!

OMG... I am so bloody drained out. Now I know the feeling of writing a essay when I have absolutely no knowlege whatsoever on the topic... So i am trying to read up more on topic , but time seems to be running out... Shit!!! Even though today I had a whole day to figure it out but was too distracted with other stuff, and i find it terribly difficult to write... Oh shit, i feel scared!!! tomorrow gotta wake up early to go school print out the articles I need. After that its back to my hell hole ward... this was a pretty bad time to go back i have to say... haha

Farewell my friends

Today my ward held a farewell party for the 4 of us leaving to go back to our wards next week. Initially, I was rather reluctant to go cause wanted to stay at home to start on my assignment but then thought i shuld go and get some sort of closure... I didnt regret going back today!!! It was such a nice stress relieving event. I came late and we had pizza hut, kfc and even had a cake ... Then we took alot alot of pictures which i will try to upload later when i get them on my hands... I feel sorta sad that i am leaving though i was sorta irritated that i get deployed out all the time... I guess thats the contradicting thing about human feelings... After that was tempted to watch the movie " Cyborg She" or go shopping... cause really feel like watching that show!!! But i told myself, I must try to be disciplined and do my assignment.... Sucks.. Life sucks.... arrrgh!!!! But I still wanna watch the show Cyborg She... seems like a nice show!!!

Monday going back to my ward to work... Must get my momentum of routine work back again...

Today is my sleeping day after my night... It has been the most memorable night shift i have ever had... Details i shall not dwell into but memories I will keep...

Today got an sms from my friend saying I will be going back to my ward next week, apparently my sister requested for me to go back to my ward... Actually i feel a bit reluctant to go back especially at this time when all my assignments are coming crashing. Though I know this is a place I dun really wanna stay for long but I cant deny its a good place to be now when I am busy with studies. I never regret getting out of the ward for a breather and i never regret this experience and oppurtunity to experience other stuff. Thank god for this experience!!!

My present ward holding a farewell party for me and another 2 staff going off next week. Actually feel like staying home and doing my assignment but i thought I better go, cause they prepared a farewell for us and think should just go... I dunno when will be the next time I see them...

Today went out with my poly mates jenny, hafiz and jacq... Its been a really really long time since i last saw them and we had a nice get together though it was a bit noisy and crowded at marina. After which we went to watch fireworks... it was really better than I expected. After that went home with jenny and we had a nice long chat... i am happy i got the oppurtunity to watch fireworks with my poly mates cause i remember when we were still in poly we would come every year. so was sort of nostalgic...

The past few nights have been a very naughty girl... anyways, cant say much about that... But tonight is my last night shift and i feel so happy... I really dislike night shift though i know by now should have accepted it...

Its already past one at night and I still cant sleep. I have been tossing and turning in bed since god knows when until I finally cannot stand it, decided to go online for a whiel... Tomorrow I am morning shift ... get it... I AM MORNING SHIFT., and i cant even sleep a wink... Well tomorrow I am pretty excited, cause after morning will be going out with my current colleagues to sing k box... Well... Although I still have a bit of a sorethroat as i am currently recovering from a flu I dun mind joining in the fun... ;).

I am pretty happy of the decisions I made , and my then rash decision to be voluntarily deployed out, cause because of that i experienced many other expereinces which I would not have experienced if i were in the same place. And these 2 months have been sometimes fun, sometimes busy... But nonetheless i am grateful for these experiences. Cause i made new friends, gained more experience, learned new stuff, felt new feelings... wat more could i ask for. There are still things in my heart i want to know but i realised its not something that will come just by thinking of it alone, so i will just take one day as it goes....

Today is my off day and i still have to spend the day studying... sianz... wat a life i have... Next monday I got a quiz on research so have to do a bit of reading up. Now in the sim library ... I feel so sleepy now after eating my dinner of sweet and sour pork rice... Yummy... Anyways nothing much happened recently. My monitor broke down so i had to buy a new one from challenger. i bought a samsung flat screen LCD one and it really looks good... i am pretty happy with my purchase...

Inner beauty and outer beauty... my mum always told me it not what matters on the outside but on the inside... And I always felt that inner beauty was of utmost importance, though sometimes it was something that could not be seen. However, as time goes on, I some how realise how insignificant inner beauty seems as in comparison to outer beauty. Even to me somehow felt my views have changed. Sometimes, I wish for that outer beauty that everyone is craving for... But off course , I know I should be contented with what I have. I always wished that in spite of my plain average looks and weird personality sometimes, someone would see through it and find it beautiful. I think its just wishful thinking... I think no one would bother with a plain , simple average girl.... Haha... I know it sounds kinda pessimistic... maybe its just realism... Maybe its just sorting out my thinking... I still think inner beauty is important after all. Its something that will never leave even when u grow old and wrinkly...

Today went back to work after a short break, however this morning my NC called up early this morning saying that my ward is closed down today as another ward is shifting up to our ward and we are shifting down to theirs... They asked me to take leave, however I dun have any more AL already which is rather distressing. So had to go back to my ward to work as a IV Nurse... It wasnt such a bad day anyways and I even had time to have break with lu ling and shirley which we usually would not have a oppurtunity... Anyways I am sick and tired of the kopitiam food... Its just so sickening to think about what to eat everyday during break. Maybe i should start cooking, but I am just too lazy...

Today shirley and me went home together. She was telling me about her trip to bangkok... It seems to fun... i also wanna go!!! She said we could plan a trip at the end of the year, but then I dun have any more AL already... I could use my PH , however I am planning on transferring out by the end of the year... Haiz.. there are just so many uncertainties and can't plan anything properly, but would I rather stay where I am... Many times i feel tempted to stay put where I am but I just feel there is so much more out there I have to experience...

There seem to be less interesting stuff to write about in my life nowadays...

Happy National Day 2008

Now watching the National Day Parade and wishing I were there... Its been so long since I went to the parade before as a spectator. I think maybe when i was in sec 4... After that I just couldn't seem to get the tickets. So what am I doing thoe whole day... basically nothing, basically eating instant noodles, playing sudoku, watching drama series and trying a study... a bit... What a boring life I have... Well at least I have time to put on a facial mask... hehe

I'm watching the dance component of the national day parade which i hate... its sorta boring and the same every year...

Which makes me remember... Its my 11th year in singapore... Congratulations to me~!

Trying to study but everytime I open the books I just feel so tired. I know this is just me psychologically. Haiz. whenever I think of this I think I am much better than those ppl who have to work and married with children. They have so much more committments than me so I just shouldn't complain so much. I really wish I could just spend all my free time playing and fooling around... haha. Instead of studying after a long days work... is this very immature of me... I dunno... haha. Anyways life still goes own. Still have to study hard...

trip to zoo

Beavers

Crocodiles


Babirusa... it smells


The majestic elephants

Pictures of the zoo

100 tear tortoise

white tigers


grandfather baboon

monkeys by the river

ostrich

Penguins

Slimy snake

A trip to the zoo

Today went to the zoo with kavi and verna. Woke up reallyy early to get ready , around 6 am.... Was really tired as yesterday slept quite late. Met up with kavi and verna at her bus stop before we took a bus to amk then to the zoo... It has been a really long time since i went to amk and it looks soo different now... Its really a great place to shop now. Took a half hour bus ride from there to mandai zoo. Before that went to eat at kfc. When we finished our brunch it was drizzling outside so me and verna decided to buy a poncho (which we didnt even use in the end cause the rain started as soon as it started). Anyways has been about a year since I went to the zoo so it was ok for me, but for kavi he was sofascinated and the most excited of the 3 of us...

After that we went to amk hub cause kavi wanted to buy a psp. Managed to get a good offer there at a reasonable price. So now the 3 of us have psp already... hehe, can share the games. And he even has the game "Harvest MOON" which I hope to get from him.

Today had a really fun day with kavi and verna. Went to sing at the ktv at chaichee community centre followed by dinner at pizza hut followed by watching a movie at Princess called "Journey to the Centre of the Earth". It ended up to be quite a good movie despite crappy reviews from yahoo reviews. Kavi told me its much better than "The Mummy 3". It was really quite an exciting, humorous and light hearted show to watch. After that it started to rain very heavily and we were almost stuck in the rain, but good thing managed to come home not wet from the rain. Really really happy cause it has been a long time since we went out together...

Anyways tomorrow we are meeting again to go to the zoo and after that kavi wants to get a psp... hehe.. soo excited!!!

MC again

Today took mc again. But i really didn' want to take it but had no choice... haiz. had a really bad tummy colicy ache caused by constipation so this morning the pain was so bad until I almost fainted in the toilet. Had to crawl to my mum's room to call for her help . in the end she also didnt really know what to do. She was rather shocked cause when she saw me I had just recovered from my fainting and was all cold, sweaty and pale all over. it was really the most terrible feeling i have ever felt. its just such a terrible feeling after fainting. Though its not my first time fainting but the feeling is just horrible. The feeling is just like I wanted to die already and had no strength at all. Was tossing and turning on the floor and suddenly i just felt so alone... Haiz... But at least my mother was around this time when I fainted. Though she was nagging at me for not taking care of myself and not drinking enough water, not eating enough fruits but at least she was there... And before I went back to sleep she sprayed some lavender oil on my pillow so i could sleep better. Was really touched by her actions. She even called my ward for me cause I was too grouchy, tired and weak saying that I had to take sick leave today...

Anyways i am soo happy cause I am off for the next few days... Tomorrow Have to take AL cause my ward is closing down one day for some dr examination thingy. and the next 2 days after that am having PH and a off day!!! SO happy!!!

I decided to lose weight... recently been gaining a bit of weight until ppl have been commenting on it.. hehe... will try to go to hospital gym more often!!! Need to lose the fats especially around my stomach.

Today was a fine day at work. There were no patients in my ward at the start of the shift and me and another staff stayed back in the ward (phew... we were not deployed out). Then it just so happened the morning sister who is quite nice had a nice chat with us... Not as in about work matters but anything under the sun. I think she is a very approachable sister (NC). When me and my friend went for break, we went for the event arranged by HR for congratulating us on passing jci. There were free manicures, foot reflexology, shoulder massage, hand massage, parafinning the hands, face threading etc.... I went for the head and shoulder massage. It was kinda shiok and i feel sorta less tense now.... But they did use a lot of force so it was sorta painful at times. Anyways it was a nice experience. When they massaged my head they used a lot of force until i had some hair drop on my uniform and my hair became a wreck... Anyways signed up for a enzyme facial therapy that only costs 40 bucks... I shall see how it is... i also feel like trying a full body massage but maybe one day i shall drag my friend along with me... hehe

Actually wanted to try other stuff but had to get back to the ward. When I went back, the ward started to get busy so we had to call the deployed staff back...

Anyways in whole it wasnt such a bad day. My friend told me i look tired recently and have puffy eyes... Its probably cause i drink too much water at night....

Now waiting for class to start at 5 and am currently in the school library writing this!!! I really feel damn sleepy... i hope i can tolerate 4 hours of boring research... starting to feel that this part time degree was more than I could handle........ NO!!! Jolyn u cant think like that. Must think positive.... Anyways better run along for class!!!

I am not watching the krean drama "Pure 19" while typing this. Recently addicted to this series... Its such a nice family drama.

Today there were no patients in our so ward so i was deployed back to my own ward. Feel so tired of getting deployed here and there all the time. Although wanted a change of environment but then wasnt really expecting this... Then today was very tired cause their was this ssn that kept on asking me to help her do "favours" but actually giving me jobs to do. I felt like telling her sorry, i didnt feel like doing the "favours". Then actuaally felt like helping my other colleagues but she just kept on giving more stuff for me to do... Haiz.. i guess I am too easy to bully and sometimes find it hard to say NO to certain people...

Was quite happy, cause in the end didnt have to go to my patient's house to follow up on her dressing. Just have to go on tuesday. After that was sooo tired took a real long nap when i got home. I need more sleep!!!!

HAppy nurse's DAY!!!

Its been a while since I last blogged... like maybe 2 months. It has really been very busy, as usual. Been busy with work, school and taking up some extra activitie where i have to go to my patient's house to follow up on whether the family is competent in doing dressing for her. Btw, i bought a psp after much thought, and i am very happy with it but must make sure I dun get addicted to it... This is to make up the "no life' factor I am having... haha.

Anyways yesterday was nurse's day and enjoyed a nurses day lunch buffet. I got a rose from my sister in charge and a few other presents. Even took a picture... Haiz... realise I have been putting on weight recently... have to do away with those carbos!!!

Anyways i got to go off now, got morning shift tomorrow and after that going to my patient's house cause she said there is some leakage in her dressing... haha... Feel tired yet fulfilled, maybe cause I am helping others, but wonder whether its helping me... Haiz, anyways dun want to think so much also... Just we happy with what I have. Its a blessing to live!!!!