Its been a long long journey and I dunno how i landed where I am now... Basically i like what i do but i hate the management and I hate the work processes. I used to be ever so optimistic that i should never let my environment affect me but i should in turn change my enviornment, however sometimes find my strength is too insignificant. What really makes a good nurses. Are they the ones that get a good quality service award and have their faces pasted on the wall every year?
I am feeling less and less job satisfaction from what i do every day. Instead of the real patient contact, i feel overwhelmed with paper work, policies procedures, theories. Patient care is a superficial touch and go event of every day nursing duties. Where is the nurse that loved to listen to her patient's stories, sing to them when she was changing their diapers (yes that was me... i was crazy), was ever so ready to put on a genuine smile. Instead of that I am a nurse flying from one task to another with the aim of completing all the tasks and going home on time. When have i last really felt happy when working. When have i started treating it like a job... something that i drag myself out of bed in the morning to go to...
Do i really want to do this for the rest of my life? I guess I would probably end up as a eccentric old maid, which i feel myself heading to. Is all this worth it, just for something i considered as a passion for helping and serving many years before.
I tell myself maybe its just me... i should try to be optimistic , but somehow just felt like a walking robot who just carries out her duties dutifully but finds no joy in it... I beleive its not only me thats having this problem just that ppl dun write it down in pen and paper i wouldn't be surprised at least 50 percent think like that.
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