Where is my light, enthusiasm drive, that i had so many years before and I swore to make a difference in someones life with it... Has it all faded into thin air. i FEEL LIKE A ZOMBIE AS i LIVE DAY TO DAY. I SERIOUSLY NEED SOMEONE TO SMACK MY HEAD AND DRAG me back to church to experience all the wholeness goodness in life. I think generally I am still ok on the outside but I feel like a rotten apple inside. Last night met up with Kavi and Verna until 5 this mrning. The past few days have felt constipated with assignments and problems at hom. Finally I have some relief from it all. Though its just a simple outing at Mac, but it really work tonnes. Last night we made a pact... to spread light to someones life each day. I seriously want to do that. I hope i can...

I know I am back sliding and somehow I dun seem to really care. Thats why many years before when my cell group leader asked me to get baptised I just kept quiet. I knew this day would come. if I wanted to I could but I want to commit my whole life to him and have the assurance i wun falter. i knew I wasnt that strong (in the sense of faith). I am back sliding ... I wish someone could just make a difference in my life and show me the right way. Although I knew it all along but i feel too exhausted to thread that path. Thats why I feel like a forsaken fool on earth. Maybe god has forgotten me, or he is calling out to me but i just can't hear... Thats always the case right...

Gotta go now and get Mucrosoft office CD rom from Ina. the pass few days assignment have been done on Word pad. its just too pathethic... haha!!!