Just came back from having supper and chatting with Kavi and verna. Up to date they are the ppl I can feel totally at ease with... We sort of grew up together and been thru lots. Our friendship is priceless. I thank God for bringing such friends to my life to make life more bearable... haha.

We were talking about our memories in secondary school and how much we missed school compared to working life... Things were so much simpler than. I used to really like someone in secondary school . Then they were asking me why i liked him... Actually its sometimes things like these that we have no idea how to answer... its just a simple moment that sort of clicks or touches our heart that causes a lasting impression. Suddenly ur heart will feel alive and sweet. Although i guess i got rejected but my heart still felt alive at that time... Then it suddenly struck me that now i go on to my day to day life looking contented, but my heart feels really dead. I think i have been creating a barrier around my heart. I guess its fear of rejection and alot of things happened around that made me beleive there is no love that actually lasts, or if there is one, it probabaly wun be mine... i guess i sound pessimistic in this aspect (its a part of me that i never really show). But even if my heart is never made alive I promise myself i will still be strong and happy.

Talking about my heart I have a heart appointment this saturday at heart centre cause of my frequent fainting spells. Haha...